Hi,
In ESOL we have learned about how to improve our writing and we used a slide show called RID. RID means Replace, Insert and Delete.
Before
I liked this short story called ON THE SIDEWALK BLEEDING I like it because it was interesting at the beginning of the passage and it gets intense halfway through the story. The book was about a boy walking down the sidewalk of an alley and bleeding at the same time not thinking he was gonna die.
After
I enjoyed the short story called ‘ON THE SIDEWALK BLEEDING’ by Evan Hunter. The first few sentences captured my attention as it talks about a sixteen-year-old male who had been stabbed 10 minutes ago just below his rib cage and bleeding in the rain.